You Can’t Plan Death
You Can’t Plan Death
My mom made a plan… but how can you plan death?
There were things she didn’t want to forget… like removing Dad’s wedding ring.
She gave each of us responsibilities… according to our strengths. (I’ll be writing the obituary.)
But we knew that we would need to stay fluid… because you can’t plan death.
We sensed that Dad was gathering us. My brother flew in from Wisconsin. And sisters came from Utah, Dallas and Lubbock.
When all had arrived, we wondered if that was what Dad needed to pass through the veil.
But it wasn’t time yet.
So we reminisced and laughed and waited. We drifted through the house… from his side where we held his hand and connected with each other, to the kitchen to grab a snack, to the table to help put the puzzle together, to the front room to chat.
Opening And Closing
The front and back doors opened and closed as cousins rotated in and out. At times it was loud and chaotic, others it was quiet and emotional. Everyone participating at their level of comfort.
Minutes… hours… days slipped by and we wondered. How would it play out?
Not being able to come earlier, my sister’s husband arrived late afternoon.
We gathered everyone for a blessing… a release… perhaps this was what was needed?
Not yet.
Back to drifting and waiting.
And then… it was time.
We sent whispers and texts. “It’s getting close. If you want to be here, come now.”
Gathering
And then the gathering … the gathering Dad meant all along… began.
From, scattered to united. We tucked in the small bedroom, gathered around his bed. Then, Dad’s breath slowed. Husbands held their wives… Dad’s daughters… as tears flowed. And his wife of almost 54 years, held by her son to remind her she was not alone.
Mom laid her head on Dad’s chest and grieved. Tears and sorrow. She felt the ache of the finality of her loss.
Time stilled and stretched. Heaven was there.
We wondered, how would it play out? What did Dad need? And How could we help him say goodbye?
What Is Needed?
Then and there, we felt those who had gone before. We recognized them and called them by name. The room was crowded with those on both sides of the veil.
A sweet note sang out and then we knew. This was what Dad needed.
My parents loved to sing. As kids, we were always singing. My dad played the guitar and taught us his favorite songs.
But there was a song that he especially loved when we sang for him.
As the father of 7 daughters, it resonated with his soul. A song about daughters of God.
“Walk tall, you’re a daughter, a child of God.
Be strong please remember who you are.
Try to understand,
You’re part of His great plan.
He’s closer than you know
Reach up, he’ll take your hand.”
With each verse, our voices grew stronger. And as I closed my eyes I felt heaven touch my soul.
You can’t plan death, but this was as perfect as it could have been.
As Dad took his last breath, it was a moment only he could have planned.
Surrounded by his children and his beloved wife. Singing him home.
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Hi! I'm Amy Earle
When I was a kid I was obsessed with government and history. I was sure I’d be a high school history teacher. Instead I chose to homeschool my own children. Soon after beginning, I was introduced to the principles of leadership education and the importance of teaching children how to think, instead of simply filling them with what to think. This led me on a journey that changed everything for me. We’ve gone the path less traveled and it has made all the difference.